January 14, 2005

Golden Statues and Drunk Stars

This weekend is the Golden Globes telecast, that hallowed awards ceremony wherein Hollywood stars of movies and television receive awards from the H'wood Foreign Press Association. Other people with a better knowledge of probability than Cinecultist have determined how frequent the winners of Golden Globes go on to receive Oscars at the Academy Awards, but let's just say it's a lot. So we should be excited about watching the telecast on Sunday, and yet CC's having a tough time getting into it. It all seems too much like business as usual for the movie making machine and really there's no underdog movie we feel we have to root for against any Big Bads. Have we become too jaded too soon?

Since the recepients and presenters will be living it up Beverly Hilton Hotel at this 62nd annual event, ie. getting drunk off their asses since the event is a sit down dinner in a ballroom not just an awards telecast in a theater, CC thought we might come up with some ways to drink along with the stars.

Each time Joan Rivers on the red carpet jokes that she's going to swoop in on the newly single Brad Pitt, drink something.

Every time they call anyone of the following a "Movie Legend" take a drink:
Clint Eastwood, Martin Scorsese, Mike Nichols, Joel Schumacher or Robin Williams.

Every time they show that blasted clip from Sideways with Paul Giamatti instructing Thomas Haden Church how to properly consume wine, swig something.

Each time they cut away to Renee Zellweger's pursed little face, drink something quick.

Anytime you see a cast member of "Desperate Housewives" contorting herself into a glamorous pose, pour yourself another tall one.

If the Phantom of the Opera wins anything at all, or if they by-pass Don Cheadle or Hotel Rwanda, get up and turn the whole thing off, then curl up in bed with the bottle.

PS. We meant to link to it earlier in the week but be sure to check out Manhattan User's Guide's year long guide to the film festivals. What an awesome resource. Now there will be no excuses. Write it in your calendars, set those Outlook reminders and get on that ticket buying in time for good seats to good reperatory cinema.

Posted by karen at January 14, 2005 9:12 AM